I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am one with the molecules
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
