I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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