Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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