its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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