i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
