That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
