Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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