last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
