The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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