...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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