chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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