Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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