chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
