Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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