Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
