i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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