i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
