Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
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