it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Randomize
