Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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