i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
