She went from zero to smokin in five shots
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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