i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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