If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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