I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
