remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
