I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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