I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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