It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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