seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
