i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
