I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
