I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
