We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
