You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
