I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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