New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize