Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
