I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
