My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize