shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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