The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
