so that wasnt chicken after all
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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