She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
