New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
