How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize