Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
