he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
