I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
