how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
