Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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