Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
