She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize