I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
