My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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