wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
