We named our party play list daddy issues
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Acid is not a monday night drug
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
