There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
