I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
