I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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