What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
