You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
