So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
