Dual....:-)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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