Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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