So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
