i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
