i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
