On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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