I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize