yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
God, I missed his penis.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
