i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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