Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
